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Lady Potamus' Tea Room
Thursday, March 20, 2003  
Hello darlings!

I just received this e-mail from my dear friend, Eliza Godwin! She asked me to fill in the blanks of this famous speech. Not being one to listen to speeches (I prefer to be underneath the podium, if you catch my drift), I have no idea how to fill in these blanks. Could one of you dears give me a hand? I hate to appear foolish in front of Eliza!


[Term that describes who the speech is addressed to], if the [country] government and its leader patiently endured such treatment [country] would deserve only to disappear from the political stage. But I am wrongly judged if my love of peace and my patience are mistaken for weakness or even cowardice. I, therefore, decided Wednesday night and informed the [country] government that in these circumstances I can no longer find any willingness on the part of the [country] government to conduct serious negotiations with us.

The other [set of countries] understand in part our attitude. I should like all to thank [country], which throughout has supported us, but ... we will carry out this task ourselves.

This night for the first time, [country] regular soldiers fired on our [noun]. Since 5:45 a.m. we have been returning the fire and from now on bombs will be met with bombs. Whoever fights with poison gas will be fought with poison gas. Whoever departs from the rules of humane warfare can only expect that we shall do the same ... until the safety, security of the [government] and its rights are secured.

--Address by [blank] to the [blank], [date]


Thanks for your help, loves! Ta ta!

4:24 PM

Wednesday, March 19, 2003  
Terrible news, darlings!

Due to the war, the carpet walk at the Oscars may be canceled!

Damn this war! Damn, damn, damn.

8:45 PM

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